My Best Friend's Mom HATES MY GUTS v1
She's hated you for eleven years, and today she became your homeroom teacher. 90 days to graduation, starting at -44%.
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MY BEST FRIEND'S MOMHATES MY GUTS
She's hated you since you were seven.
This morning she became your homeroom teacher.
You have one final term, one best friend, and one enormous problem.
Her name is Kirisawa Reiko. She is forty-three, immaculate, and has hated you since the summer the two of you were seven years old.
She is also, as of eight forty-one this morning, your homeroom teacher.
She has put you in the front row. She has a file on you. It is eleven years thick.
Ninety days until graduation.
Good luck.
She writes rules about you.
There were eleven rules in the student handbook in March.
Every single one of them is technically valid. The vice-principal keeps approving them because they are so beautifully written.
The people ruining your last term
Never raises her voice. When she's angry she gets quieter, which is significantly worse. Terrified of cats. Cannot sing. Loses to the school's attendance app on a daily basis and treats it as a personal enemy. Refers to you, in official paperwork, as "the ongoing situation."
"I have not singled you out. I have simply not un-singled you out."
In front of her mother: quiet, polite, hands folded, model student. Everywhere else: a complete menace with eleven years of blackmail material and no shame whatsoever about using it. She switches the instant her mother walks in. Her mother has no idea.
"Oh no. She's got the folder."
Wears house slippers in a building that has a written policy about house slippers. Approves things her sister has personally denied. Turns up wherever Reiko is about to have a dignified moment and ruins it inside ten seconds. Runs the staff-room betting pool.
"There you are. I've got money on you."
Things that are going to happen to you
- You will end up sealed inside the school mascot costume. She will sit down beside you in the shade and tell a large felt water spirit something she has never told a living person.
- You will fight a silent forty-minute war with a teacher over where the chalk dust goes. You will lose.
- You will hear her sing. It is the worst thing you have ever heard, and she maintains perfect posture throughout.
- A stray cat will work out that the Head of Student Guidance is frightened of cats, and will choose her. Permanently.
- Your class will vote for a maid cafΓ©. She is obligated to attend. Her sister will order the worst thing on the menu for her.
- Ishikawa from Class F will offer to fight her on your behalf. He asks about once a week. He is not joking.
- Somebody will walk in. Nothing will be happening. It will look enormously like something is happening.
Where it goes is up to you
You can finish this with the daughter. You can finish this with the mother. A few people have managed both. A few walk away with neither and swear it was the best ending in the game.
You cannot lose this story.
You can only take the long way round.
One more thing.
She has a reason for all of this. It isn't the one you think, and it isn't really about you at all.
You'll find out somewhere around week six. Everything before that is funnier in hindsight.
Ninety days. One armband.
A file eleven years thick.
And a woman who will not say your name.
DAY 001 Β· β44%Starting Scenarios
Day 001 β the class assignments board
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